Giving in to the Tide
by sammiepie
Summary: And she wants to just continue hating them, blaming them for this situation because she’s trapped and she’ll never escape." After Paul tells Rachel about the imprinting, Rachel finds herself with a decision to make, Leah helps her make it.


"Too many times we stand aside and let the waters slip away, till what we put off till tomorrow has now become today. So don't you sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied. Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tide."

So there she was, slipping her shoes off and stepping into the water of the beach. When she was a little girl, Rachel uses to be scared of the water and while Rebecca and Jacob would go swimming, Rachel would sit along the shoreline and watch the tide swim over her feet. It never failed to calm her but this time as Rachel stood there squishing her feet in the sand she couldn't seem to calm down, with Paul's voice banging around her head with things like werewolves and imprints. She sighs; it wasn't supposed to be like this. Rachel was supposed to have a fancy six figure job with a penthouse apartment. She was just going to stay in La Push for the summer, she wasn't supposed to be…to be chained to La Push for the rest of her life. But then again neither was Leah, or Sam, or even her brother, not like this a small voice in her head reasoned. Rachel left La Push as soon as she was old enough, worked her hardest in school for that chance to get away. She didn't want to leave her family, her ill diabetic father Billy who is now in a wheelchair with no one to care for him but Jacob. She just needed to, just like Rebecca left. Except unlike her, Rebecca left because she was in love. Ever since mom died Rachel hadn't been able to stand La Push, she had to escape the memories and she did. She went to a college on a full scholarship and studied her ass off, and she was doing okay. Until now.

Yes Rachel loves Paul but at the same time she kind of hates him. There's a part of her that is full of resentment against Paul, and even against her family: her father and brother. They don't seem to care about her happiness just that fact that she's here and that she can't ever leave. Paul would though, leave with her that is. It would be so easy, all she had to do was tell him she wanted to move away, she was the imprintee after all, he would do anything for her. But she couldn't ask that of him, because fate decided to pick him to be protector of La Push, and fate chose her to be his partner. And he loved La Push, his friends and family were all here. She was the only one so desperate to get away.

She was only visiting for the summer, because during the weekly phone conversations Rachel insists on maintaining (every Friday, because she wasn't cruel enough to completely cut La Push out of her life) Billy told her that Jacob ran away. Her father was all alone with no one to take care of him and Jacob was missing so Rachel came back. Sure he insisted that he was fine, Sue was here and that everyone on the rez was there for him, but Rachel was done school and decided she needed to stave some of all that guilt that had been building up in the pit of her stomach, and grew more every time she shrugged off invitations to visit with constant excuses. Rebecca just couldn't afford to come and didn't have the time especially with her two kids. Billy was thrilled to see her, dragging her that same night to a party at the Clearwater's. She had been surprised to see everyone; she could barely recognize them. Everyone was so different Seth, cute little Seth had turned into a man, tall, broad and proud. But to Rachel's relief he still had his happy go lucky personality and his adorably dazzling smile. Rachel was most surprised by Leah's appearance. She was so tall, and her beautifully long hair was cropped short but the more startling change was Leah's grimace, just the way she was leaning against the wall arms crossed that's just screamed _come near me, and they'll never find your body. _Leah managed a small smile and leaned down to hug Rachel "we missed you Rach". That was the only thing she said before Rachel was whisked away by Sue.

Throughout the night as Rachel was passed around being introduced she always kept one eye on Leah who didn't smile again at all. Unlike Seth it seems Leah's personality took a complete 180. When she sees Emily's scarred face, she notices that Sam flinches in response to the little gasp Rachel let out, and instantly feels bad. When was finally introduced to Paul she remembers that he just stood there stunned for a moment staring at her, dropping his cup of water. It was just Styrofoam and barely made a noise but Leah looked up at them, her eyes blazing with fury. She promptly marched up to Paul and punched him in the face. Rachel was horrified at the time, but now she finally understands why Leah did it (but kind of wishes she didn't know). At the time though, she just gasped. Paul just clutched his cheekbone and spat out "what the hell Leah" Leah just smirked and shoved Paul against a wall "She's like a fucking sister to me, you fucking idiot how could you?" He pushed her off of him and started to walk towards her and Rachel was truly afraid of a full blown fight, she was confused, and Rachel_ hated _not knowing what was going on. But thank god Sam came in, and he merely grabbed Paul's arm and turned to a now smirking Leah "cool it, both of you" As Paul walked away with Sam I had turned to Leah, "Leah what was that?" She merely gave me the same smirk she's been sporting all night, the smirk she has on when she's not scowling. And she replies to me "Paul deserves it trust me, when Jacob comes back he'll do the exact same thing". The line about Jacob disturbed me, why was Leah so confident to the point of being cocky that Jacob would come back? Why was everyone so sure he was okay? But once again Leah was right, Jacob did come back and Jacob had done the same thing as Leah did, but for a completely different reason than Leah. All of a sudden Leah had a suddenly serious face "Rachel you know I love you right? And that there aren't any hard feelings for leaving, I'm kind of envious that you had managed to get away from all of this, even if it was just for a few years". I had thought Leah would have been alittle resentful that Rebecca and I got away from La Push and she didn't. Leah had always wanted to college. I remember being so confused when she said that I had only gotten away for a few years, I thought for sure I'd go somewhere flashy, like New York and be successful.

And today Paul just... just dropped this bomb on her. She had only been here for a couple of weeks and Jacob just came back three days ago. And she remembers being so confused and in denial and just shaking her head screaming no repeatedly until Paul called Sam over. And Sam calmly explains to her about the legends and imprinting and when he mentions Leah it hits her like a storm. So Rachel nodded her head tuning out Sam's words about choices and commitments and she gets up saying she needs time to think. So there she is, at the beach walking. It's cloudy but warm and she kicked off her shoes to wade in the water. She ashamed to say that the beach is what she missed the most, even more than her dad and Jacob. She scoffs at Sam's words about how she has a choice, and thinks about how Paul nods his head saying it'd be alright, but she sees the hurt he has. That he wouldn't be able to bare it if she leaves. And she wants to just continue hating them, blaming them for this situation because she's trapped and she'll never escape. She was born in La Push and now she is going to die in La Push.

She thinks about Leah. Her childhood friend, who was just as much a sister to her as Rebecca was. Who is completely filled with hate, shut away with huge defensive walls surrounding her. Leah with her scowls, biting sarcasm and dark humour. The sister Rachel wishes she could talk to about her feelings but is too ashamed and afraidtoo, because at least Rachel has a sweet guy who loves her. Leah doesn't even have that, she lost the love of her life to destiny and fate's compensation to her was to turn her into a giant wolf. And she misses her friend Leah, who changed from sweet Lee Lee, Sam's high school sweetheart, into Leah Clearwater, La Push's bitch, literally. Rachel thinks about a lot of things; about how fate destroyed Leah, and how it brought Sam and Emily together, who were just perfect for each other. She could have that love and happiness, if she lets go of the bitterness Leah can't release, Rachel could be happy with Paul. With the image of Sam's adoring eyes (the same look in Paul's eyes when he looks at her) contrasting with Leah's bitter and cold face, Rachel makes her decision. So when she sees him Paul on a log watching her, she walks up to him and without a word kisses him.


End file.
